You think about buying one of those super video cameras and making your own movie. Maybe you can be another Spike Lee; but who are you fooling? This will require real money and friends in the right places, both of which you are sadly lacking. OK, there's the Internet and all those adolescent millionaires it keeps spitting out: But where do you start, and what does it cost?
You could start with something really simple and different. How about rediscovering jazz music. Yeah jazz music. It's the best music for this kind of problem. The music understands your situation because it has been composed and played by people who knew a lot about tough times. People who had only jazz music to help them make it from one day to the next.
And the good news is that most of this wonderful, healing, satisfying jazz music is readily available because the jazz men and women who produced it must have known that there would be times like these, and people just like you. Many of them have checked out, but they have left a treasure trove of jazz music and ideas for you to listen to. Jazz music CDs and records are everywhere; in stores; on line; at flea markets and garage sales; in the basement and up in the attic; just find something you dig, and go for it!
OK, here's one more thing, take a trip to your local public library, check out a book on the life of Duke Ellington (suggest: Music Is My Mistress), or Louis Armstrong (suggest: Louis Armstrong: An Extravagant Life: By Laurence Bergreen), or Miles Davis (suggest: Miles Davis: The Definitive Biography: By Ian Carr). Read about these jazz icons, learn about their music and times. I guarantee that you will be inspired. You will discover that many of the problems you now experience are not new or unique. These jazz giants had moments just like yours. You may find some solutions, enjoy lots of great jazz music, and best of all, you may become a born again jazz fan.
This Louis Armstrong number is for you. Good luck!